Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What Have I Done Now?

Really bad night last night. I thought the roller coaster of emotions would start to even out soon. I'm almost completely tapered off the prednisone. Shouldn't the edginess and sleeplessness be going back to normal?

Hubby got home from work and we fought the entire night. And when I say we fought, I mean I actually tried to kick him out last night.

I did.

But, then he turned it around, made me think twice about what I was doing and I brushed it off to the medicine. He's still here (well, at work now), I'm still here. We're still one big happy fucking family.

He's good at that. Turning things around on me. Making it seem like it's all my fault. Making me think that it is. When I told him yesterday afternoon that I wanted to go to my brother's, he asked why? Um, because it's my brother? He happened to be getting yelled at at the time and said he'd call me back. Well, he did call me back and complained about his job. Never asked how I felt. He blamed it on being in shock. Then he tried to blame his rudeness on talking to someone else. This came out about eight hours after the fact.

Maybe all these feelings I've been having is the medicine. I'm still taking valarien root during the day and sleeping pills at night. Between the prednisone, valarien and sleeping pills, that's got to be doing a number on my head. I haven't made any kind of decision yet, although last night came awfully close.

Oh, I forgot to mention, he broke the screen on my laptop by slamming his fist down on it. Luckily, the laptop itself still works and I'm using the screen from my PC in the basement. Great.


  1. sorry to hear that, hope everything works out in the end :)

  2. oh gosh, sorry to hear about all the problems...but when I saw the part where he was good at turning things around and making it seem like it was all your fault..it brought back memories of my first husband. That is what he would do (or I would let him do). I started writing things down as soon as they happened, and that's when I realized, he was just a jerk and I got rid of him (well, a divorce). I'm not saying that's what you should do, but writing stuff down helps!