Monday, August 3, 2009



These stupid, idiotic pain pills certainly help the pain. But now, the side effects are starting to kick in. I don't know that escaping from the pain is worth what I feel inside.

I'm over analyzing everything right now. And creating problems. Again.

I'm taking something that is probably very innocent and blowing it way out of proportion.

I'm such an idiot.

I really am.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Stupid Knee

I have had problems with my knees since I was 12 years old. I have a condition called Chondromalacia ( ). It hasn't bothered me in about 15 years, save for weather changes (yes, I can predict the weather with my knees). But ever since this past Monday night, its been a whole different story.

I can barely walk. My right knee is swollen and really painful. I bought a brace at CVS on Tuesday morning and without it, I don't think I'd be walking at all. Yesterday, Finn and I went to see "Transformers" (which was AWESOME) and I couldn't get comfortable in the seat ~ my knee kept cramping up. I'm even thinking of going over to Goodwill today to see if they have a cane or crutches for sale; something to help keep the weight off my leg and maybe help it heal.

Went to the doc yesterday. She says I need an MRI. Well, I told her I probably need an MRI or X-rays and she agreed. She verified that the knee is swollen in comparison to my left one. She also prescribed some ibuprofen (which works much better than trying to take four OTC ibuprofen) and some Ultram for the night. The Ultram works wonderfully! And the ibuprofen keeps most of the edge off during the day. We're trying to manage the swelling and pain until I get my benefits in a couple of weeks so I can get that MRI.

The only thing I'm afraid of is this is the beginning of my journey to a new knee. I've always known that that's a possibility. The chondromalacia has continually worn away the cartilage in my knees. I'm afraid that the right one has given up its fight. I'm sure that having the Crohn's, which is an auto-immune disorder, hasn't helped the cause either. There are things that are going on in my body that are related to the Crohn's. In all honesty, I've had a feeling that things were getting worse, that my body wasn't feeling the same for a few months now. I just haven't had the money to get blood work and such done to confirm.

I will keep you updated as the days/weeks go by. But I wouldn't be surprised if I post from my hospital bed after replacement surgery.