Sunday, December 27, 2009


I think about relationships past. How I seem to need someone in my life. Why can't I just be by myself?

Has he done this to me? Left me alone for so long that I can't be alone any more? I'm told that I'm stronger than that. That I should be able to just be by myself. I don't like being alone though. I enjoy closeness and companionship. I didn't have it for so long that I crave it now.

Is there something wrong with that?

Yes, Finn has been gone for just a couple of months now. And, yes, I still miss him everyday. But don't I deserve someone to be happy with? The person I've been seeing has been making me happy. Perhaps he's filling a void, but I think that without having someone to share things with, there's always a void to be filled. Wouldn't friends be considered filling a void, or hobbies?

Perhaps this is just a rebound. Who knows? But if that's the case, my whole life has been full of rebounds. The ex, Finn, the guys I've dated in high school....

I just wish there could be a happy medium somewhere.