Sunday, August 31, 2008


He wants me to come home so we can talk. He's even going to talk his father into taking the kids.

But, I know his idea of talking. He's going to cry the crocodile tears and beg me to stay. OK, maybe not that forward, but that's what it will boil down to. He's already begging me to come home. Guilting me into coming home. Telling me he's having nightmares, Princess is wetting the bed, he misses me.

He says he's here for me to talk and open up. Dude, where have you been for 15 years? Why are you here all of a sudden? And why are you here when it benefits you?

I think he knows what I'm going to say. I think he realizes that I'm done. For some reason, I'm afraid to say it and I know he's afraid to hear it.

This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I don't really want to be a single parent, but what's the alternative? I don't deserve to be mediocre for the rest of my life. I'm almost 34 years old. I have done nothing with my life (well, I do have two beautiful children). Am I saying that I have to make a million dollars and a name for myself? No, but I want to try. I deserve that chance.

Unfortunately, I think he's afraid that I will succeed him and that's why he holds me back. He's always been a little, um, "the man brings home the bacon." Which, hey, whatever. Give a girl a chance, though. I don't want to be hemming pants for the rest of my life. I deserve to be draping fabric on Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie.

Hey, one can dream, can't they?

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