Friday, August 29, 2008


Over the last couple of months, I've realized that I'm abused. My bruises, however, aren't visible.

I really don't know what's making me realize that for a really long time, he's been abusing me. He holds me back. He turns things around and makes them my fault (even when it's not). He makes me feel as though I need to explain myself and what I do. He makes me feel guilty for wanting to go to the store by myself.

Now, I realize that I've allowed him to do this to me. I wanted to feel loved so bad that I allowed myself to fall into his clutches. I allowed myself to be weak.

Well, not anymore. I will not allow myself to feel like this anymore. It is time to stand up for myself. It is time to be me. I shouldn't have to explain myself. If I want a beer, it doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic. I'm not weird for wanting to watch a ball game. I'm not strange for having a brainstorm at midnight and having to write my story. I'm not weird for liking fantasy and sci-fi. I should not be shunned for having a high IQ.



  1. You are indeed you, and deserving of much more than you've been getting.

    Emotional abuse is even more insidious than physical (IMHO) simply because it isn't always as visible and the scars take much longer to fade. I am very glad you are taking steps to move out of this situation. *hugs*

  2. good for you for realising this!
    you are totally right, and you deserve soooo much more and better than that!

  3. absolutely good for you for seeing what's happening and realising it for yourself; many women suffer for many years without ever seeing the abuse for what it is. Keith is right, emotional abuse is far worse because there are no outward signs to alert others and you have to deal with it often without support. You obviously have many friends who treasure you and will get you through what's to come.