My sister-in-law passed yesterday morning. My brother called Mom last evening. She then called me.
So, we don't know what's going on. He mentioned having some kind of memorial service in a few weeks. Didn't make it sound like we needed to make the trip. But Mom made it sound like we would anyway. Who knows.
Then, we've got the baby coming soon. My great-nephew. I'd like to be out there to meet him as well.
Right now, I'm keeping my thoughts with my brother, nephew and niece. They need it. Especially my niece. Being 18 and pregnant and just losing your mom? I could never imagine...
Rest in peace, Robin...
Showing posts with label brother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brother. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
What Have I Done Now?
Really bad night last night. I thought the roller coaster of emotions would start to even out soon. I'm almost completely tapered off the prednisone. Shouldn't the edginess and sleeplessness be going back to normal?
Hubby got home from work and we fought the entire night. And when I say we fought, I mean I actually tried to kick him out last night.
I did.
But, then he turned it around, made me think twice about what I was doing and I brushed it off to the medicine. He's still here (well, at work now), I'm still here. We're still one big happy fucking family.
He's good at that. Turning things around on me. Making it seem like it's all my fault. Making me think that it is. When I told him yesterday afternoon that I wanted to go to my brother's, he asked why? Um, because it's my brother? He happened to be getting yelled at at the time and said he'd call me back. Well, he did call me back and complained about his job. Never asked how I felt. He blamed it on being in shock. Then he tried to blame his rudeness on talking to someone else. This came out about eight hours after the fact.
Maybe all these feelings I've been having is the medicine. I'm still taking valarien root during the day and sleeping pills at night. Between the prednisone, valarien and sleeping pills, that's got to be doing a number on my head. I haven't made any kind of decision yet, although last night came awfully close.
Oh, I forgot to mention, he broke the screen on my laptop by slamming his fist down on it. Luckily, the laptop itself still works and I'm using the screen from my PC in the basement. Great.
Hubby got home from work and we fought the entire night. And when I say we fought, I mean I actually tried to kick him out last night.
I did.
But, then he turned it around, made me think twice about what I was doing and I brushed it off to the medicine. He's still here (well, at work now), I'm still here. We're still one big happy fucking family.
He's good at that. Turning things around on me. Making it seem like it's all my fault. Making me think that it is. When I told him yesterday afternoon that I wanted to go to my brother's, he asked why? Um, because it's my brother? He happened to be getting yelled at at the time and said he'd call me back. Well, he did call me back and complained about his job. Never asked how I felt. He blamed it on being in shock. Then he tried to blame his rudeness on talking to someone else. This came out about eight hours after the fact.
Maybe all these feelings I've been having is the medicine. I'm still taking valarien root during the day and sleeping pills at night. Between the prednisone, valarien and sleeping pills, that's got to be doing a number on my head. I haven't made any kind of decision yet, although last night came awfully close.
Oh, I forgot to mention, he broke the screen on my laptop by slamming his fist down on it. Luckily, the laptop itself still works and I'm using the screen from my PC in the basement. Great.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Life Blows
I just read an email that my mom forwarded to me from my brother. We were thinking he dropped off the face of Mother Earth. No, turns out that he has been trying to keep my sister-in-law from dying.
From what I've read, she was diagnosed with lung cancer in late June. It was already Stage IV by the time she was diagnosed; metastasized to multiple places in her body, including her brain. They removed a brain tumor. There was a tumor on her pelvic bone so large that it fractured her pelvis. They zapped that with radiation. The cancer has attacked her lungs, adrenal glands and bone tissue. She's got another tumor growing on her femur that they need to zap, but can't as her strength is not where it needs to be for the radiation.
She's two weeks behind on starting chemo. My brother says that it'll probably be another two weeks before they start that. He said that the doctors think she may not even live that long to start the treatment she needs. If she does, they are going to admit her to the hospital to hit her with so many chemo drugs, that she could die from the side effects alone. But, they'd be doing the treatment that way because of how long it's been since they wanted to start.
But, my brother says that there is a thin ray of hope. They only gave her a 1% chance of surviving the infection she had. She's still kicking. Not hard, but she is. Right now, though, there is nothing they can do to stop the progression as they're waiting for her to regain strength. He says that she can't even roll over without any kind of help. Before they can start treatment, she needs to be able to hold herself up on her walker.
I don't pray, but I won't be stopping thinking of healing thoughts. Positive thinking, right?
I need to figure out how to get to where my brother is. I can't afford it, but I need to get there. He's my big brother. He took care of me when I was a baby. He introduced me to Led Zeppelin when I was still in diapers (he's 15 years older than me). He's 18 hours away by car. Airplane is only a couple of hours. It's not a question on how do I obtain time off from work (I'm a stay-at-home-mom), it's a question of money.
Oh, I'll get out there. Question is: will I be there in time?
From what I've read, she was diagnosed with lung cancer in late June. It was already Stage IV by the time she was diagnosed; metastasized to multiple places in her body, including her brain. They removed a brain tumor. There was a tumor on her pelvic bone so large that it fractured her pelvis. They zapped that with radiation. The cancer has attacked her lungs, adrenal glands and bone tissue. She's got another tumor growing on her femur that they need to zap, but can't as her strength is not where it needs to be for the radiation.
She's two weeks behind on starting chemo. My brother says that it'll probably be another two weeks before they start that. He said that the doctors think she may not even live that long to start the treatment she needs. If she does, they are going to admit her to the hospital to hit her with so many chemo drugs, that she could die from the side effects alone. But, they'd be doing the treatment that way because of how long it's been since they wanted to start.
But, my brother says that there is a thin ray of hope. They only gave her a 1% chance of surviving the infection she had. She's still kicking. Not hard, but she is. Right now, though, there is nothing they can do to stop the progression as they're waiting for her to regain strength. He says that she can't even roll over without any kind of help. Before they can start treatment, she needs to be able to hold herself up on her walker.
I don't pray, but I won't be stopping thinking of healing thoughts. Positive thinking, right?
I need to figure out how to get to where my brother is. I can't afford it, but I need to get there. He's my big brother. He took care of me when I was a baby. He introduced me to Led Zeppelin when I was still in diapers (he's 15 years older than me). He's 18 hours away by car. Airplane is only a couple of hours. It's not a question on how do I obtain time off from work (I'm a stay-at-home-mom), it's a question of money.
Oh, I'll get out there. Question is: will I be there in time?
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