Beautiful Day

Mid-November and its 70 degrees outside. Un-friggin-believable!

My babies are here this weekend. We're outside, enjoying the weather. Princess is playing chalk and Little Man is playing with his Play-Doh. Actually, they're also hunting for acorns.

Yesterday was rainy and chilly. We watched movies all day. They took turns picking which movie to watch and then I picked what to watch at bedtime last night. Dinner, bath, ice cream and a movie. What a perfect night. =)

I've dug out a comfy chair. Set it up in the driveway as the kids play. Its days like this I wish would last forever.....

I Don't Get It

I received more papers along the road of my divorce. They pretty much trashed me. Even pondered my being bi-polar.

Funny thing? I think Xman may be as well.

Earlier this week, he was being nice to me. We were actually talking; discussing things; joking around. I don't know what I did now, but he has done a complete 180.

Our son is sick. I text at every opportunity I can to find out how he's doing. Its like trying to pull teeth getting the information from him. And then, its a problem if I only ask once a day how he's doing. I guess that he doesn't understand that Little Man and Princess are constantly on my mind. I guess I need to text him even when I'm not able to. I guess I need to risk losing my job to constantly text every time I think of my babies.

Fine. If he wants me to text, I will. There are even times I wake in the middle of the night and think of my babies. Even when they're not ill. Guess I'll text him then as well. I hope he's ready for the influx of texts that he's about to get.

A Venting

Instead of a haunting, this is a venting.

Men suck.

Children that won't go to sleep suck.

Being bone tired sucks.

Yes, Finn is being a brat. He pissed me off before. Since he was having a bad day, I had called with the intention of making him feel better, and he chewed me out. And then hung up on me. And now, ignoring me. Sort of. I swear, if he were here, I would smack him upside the head. I don't need this shit. Seriously.

The Princess is refusing to go to sleep. Yes, it is almost midnight. Yes, she has been awake since 8:30 this morning. Yes, she has been complaining that she was tired all day. Why is she still awake?

And I'm exhausted. I want to go to bed. But, I can't before she does. And, I need to clean up before I go to bed. And, I need to find my bed, since Little Man is asleep on the one I use when they're here. So that means I have to clean up my room from them playing in there today. And I won't be able to sleep until I know things are cool between Finn and me.

Fuck this Saturday night. Fuck everything.

Santa Rides Again

So, we told the kids that Santa visited last night because Mommy called him to tell him they wouldn't be here till the weekend. It worked. They bought it. And they opened gifts this morning. It was great. They also opened gifts from Santa last night. For those, we told them that Santa got my message late and came anyway. They bought that too. Amazing. Little kids are so gullible!

They loved everything that Santa got them. They both loved the hat and scarf that I made for them. Right now, they are quietly coloring and watching Spongebob. This is bliss. We're all still in our P.J.'s. I'm blogging and uploading pics while drinking coffee and they're playing with their new things. This is Christmas. This is what it's about.

In a little while, we're going to make cupcakes. Its kind of rainy and crappy outside and I'm sure we're all cookied out. Cupcakes should prove to be a nice change. We'll see how it goes.....

Growing Up

My Little Man is wearing big-boy undies.

:-(

I'm very upset at this. He's my baby at 3. I only have two and he's it.

He's actually going to be 4 in a few months. Up until now, he has refused to potty train. It's not because he's not ready, it's because he knows that if he doesn't wear a diaper, he'll have to cease playing so he can go to the bathroom. To me, that's a pretty smart kid to have figured that out.

Thursday, when I picked them up for dinner, their day care person and I were discussing this. She suggested that I get Little Man some undies and just let him wear them. So, last night, we picked up some big-boy undies. I let him pick out what he wanted. And now he has them on. Been a half hour and so far, so good.

But, *sniff*, my Little Man is growing up.....

Little Man

My Little Man is going to be the class clown. I can tell this already. Two things he did just today that proves this:

1) We had to go to the grocery store to pick up the fixings for turkey soup (sort of like stone soup, but without the stones). Of course, we went to the store that I work at. We ran into people I know. One of my friends was talking to me and proceeded to call me a goof. Little Man overheard this, turned to his sister and promptly called her a goof. I cracked up and zoomed them around in their car cart.

2) Just now, I am listening to a random mix of music on the laptop. "When I See You Smile" by Bad English played. One the first verse of the song, Little Man proceeds to sing along after the fact, like an echo. This.is.just.awesome.

I do apologize, but I just had to write that down so it wasn't forgotten somewhere in the vast space that is my brain. :)

Weekend

I've got my babies this weekend. They're finally feeling better. I'm still fighting, but it's pretty much my voice that I've been fighting with.

We're going grocery shopping today. Woo hoo. Just what I want to do...spend time at the store when I don't have to work. Then I think I'll take them over to Goodwill. The Princess has been weaning off her blankie and I want to get her a little something for doing so well.

Tomorrow, while it's snowing and raining, we will make turkey soup. With veggies and barley and rice. And there will be more than enough to share with the people I care about. Everyone could use some homemade turkey soup this time of year!

Right now, Little Man and I are enjoying a bowl of Raisin Bran and watching Spongebob. The Princess is still sleeping, but I'll be getting her up soon enough. I like to enjoy this time with my Little Man. He and I don't get time with each other much at all. So, Spongebob and cereal mornings are perfect!

Decisions

It's so hard to make a decision that involves your children.

I am faced with the dilemma today of visiting with them tonight or letting them go home with Xman to rest. The Princess has been very sick this week. I had to take her to the doctor on Monday. Little Man was sick the week before. I am now getting whatever it is that they've had.

Question is, though, do I pick them up and take them out to McDonald's tonight? Do they really need to be running around on the playground?

I have nothing else going on. If I don't pick them up, I'm coming home from work and having a date with my book and bed. Maybe, possibly, quite later, hanging at a friend's for the final installment of Lord of the Rings. But I would do that regardless of whether I have the kids or not.

My mind says that I should just let them go to Xman's house for rest and that I'll see them next week when we're all better. My heart is telling me that I need to see them. Because I miss them horribly. But, then my mind tells my heart that I'm being selfish. That they need rest to get better.

This really sucks.

Life Can Be So Simple

I took this shot tonight, as my children played at the playground where I was standing as I took this. The Princess asked me to take a picture of the sunbeams because she had never seen them before. I, of course, obliged. Unfortunately, the beams shooting out from the clouds didn't really make it into the picture.

I felt very peaceful as I relaxed on a bench while my babies played with the other little ones who were visiting the park this evening. I watched as they ran around, chasing each other, sliding down the slides, running across the zip line. They had not a care in the world. So innocent, they are.

Kids are wonderful in the sense that they don't care what others look like. They don't care if you have purple polka-dots, they still want to be your friend. I have lucked out with two beautiful children that are so full of love and life. They care so much about each other and about other children. They get along with everyone they meet.

Maybe, if the world could sit and watch children play for a little while, we wouldn't have the mess we do...

First Day

Well, the Princess had her first day of kindergarten today. Her father, Mimi, brother and I all saw her off on the bus this morning. She looked like such a big girl with her Dora backpack and Hannah Montana skate sneakers. My heart was breaking as much as it was swelling with pride.

In the past weeks, whenever we've talked to her about school and riding the bus, she has said that she didn't want to go. Well, that all changed this morning. She dragged her feet a little bit walking across the street to get to the bus. But, once there, she bounded up the stairs and in her seat. She didn't even kiss her father good-bye (I got a kiss though, heehee). I had to get on the bus to help her with her seat belt, but then that was it - off she went!

It was a quiet morning. Even with Little Man still home, it was quiet. He and I had pizza for breakfast. He was lost without her. Poor guy. But, he got Mommy all to himself this morning, so that made up for it.

He and I walked down to the end of the driveway to wait for her bus. I showed him how to make music with a blade of grass. We ran around the end of the driveway, chasing each other and he played drums with a couple of sticks. Then, we saw the big yellow bus coming, he squealed, I smiled. Princess unlocked her seat belt and got off the bus. Then I asked about her day.

She didn't want to talk about it. :(

I finally got out of her that she had a good time. She finally showed me what she did at school and also the little bit of homework that we have to do together tonight.

She's going to be A-OK. :)