Shedding

When do you start shedding the ghosts of your past?

I am so accustomed to being a certain way to make people happy that I'm afraid to be anything else. I feel I should just clasp my hands together and bow. No spoken word, just do as I'm told. As its been for many years. I don't remember what its like not to have that.

When does this stop?

I want to bad to tell someone to fuck off or shut the hell up. I'm too afraid to say this, though. Why? What's the worst that happens? Someone gets mad at me? Well, there's something new. Why am I afraid of someone being angry at me?

I've grown so much over the past year. This is the one obstacle that I can't seem to overcome. And now it threatens what makes me happy. It threatens my present and future relationships. How can one relationship make a person feel this way? I don't understand.

I need these ghosts to go away and leave me be.

A Venting

Instead of a haunting, this is a venting.

Men suck.

Children that won't go to sleep suck.

Being bone tired sucks.

Yes, Finn is being a brat. He pissed me off before. Since he was having a bad day, I had called with the intention of making him feel better, and he chewed me out. And then hung up on me. And now, ignoring me. Sort of. I swear, if he were here, I would smack him upside the head. I don't need this shit. Seriously.

The Princess is refusing to go to sleep. Yes, it is almost midnight. Yes, she has been awake since 8:30 this morning. Yes, she has been complaining that she was tired all day. Why is she still awake?

And I'm exhausted. I want to go to bed. But, I can't before she does. And, I need to clean up before I go to bed. And, I need to find my bed, since Little Man is asleep on the one I use when they're here. So that means I have to clean up my room from them playing in there today. And I won't be able to sleep until I know things are cool between Finn and me.

Fuck this Saturday night. Fuck everything.