Levaquin

This is the antibiotic that I was put on for the double pneumonia. No wonder I feel the way I do. One of the side effects is depression. So, pile the side effects on top of being a virtual shut in, and you get one very messed up person.

Less serious Levaquin side effects may include:
*nausea, diarrhea, constipation;
*feeling restless, anxious, or depressed;
*headache, dizziness;
*muscle pain;
*sleep problems (insomnia or nightmares);
*vaginal itching or discharge; or
*mild skin itching.

So, I've got the restlessness and depression. I've got the headache (although that could be from coughing and blowing my nose). I've got the sleep problems (have had to take some sleeping pills the last few nights).

Great. And I'm only halfway through my script.

Proud

I am a proud mommy today.

Princess forgot her beloved blankie at her daddy's house yesterday. In over five years, she has not slept with out it.

Last night, she went into her suitcase and discovered the blankie wasn't there. She didn't even cry. And she went to bed without it. And went to sleep. Without tears for her blankie.

My little Princess is growing up.

On Being an Ass

Finn apologized. Twice. Actually used the word sorry in one apology. I felt like an ass for thinking him a jerk. He's really not.

And then, at 12:30 am, I yelled at the Princess for not being asleep yet. She bawled her eyes out for that. So I sat at the kitchen table and bawled mine out.

Chalk the night up to being an ass. Biggest one possible. Seriously.

For some reason, I got a creative streak through all of this. This is what happened:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3143660906/, http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3143660904/, and http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3143660900/. I have no idea where that came from!

So, I should really try and sleep. Although I don't feel like it. I sleep like crap when not at Finn's.

*sigh*

A Venting

Instead of a haunting, this is a venting.

Men suck.

Children that won't go to sleep suck.

Being bone tired sucks.

Yes, Finn is being a brat. He pissed me off before. Since he was having a bad day, I had called with the intention of making him feel better, and he chewed me out. And then hung up on me. And now, ignoring me. Sort of. I swear, if he were here, I would smack him upside the head. I don't need this shit. Seriously.

The Princess is refusing to go to sleep. Yes, it is almost midnight. Yes, she has been awake since 8:30 this morning. Yes, she has been complaining that she was tired all day. Why is she still awake?

And I'm exhausted. I want to go to bed. But, I can't before she does. And, I need to clean up before I go to bed. And, I need to find my bed, since Little Man is asleep on the one I use when they're here. So that means I have to clean up my room from them playing in there today. And I won't be able to sleep until I know things are cool between Finn and me.

Fuck this Saturday night. Fuck everything.

Merry Everything

That should cover it. Solstice, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc....

So, I had a nice, quiet Christmas day with Finn. I had made dinner last night, we had leftovers this morning and then he made breakfast for dinner tonight. I then came home to see my mom and her boyfriend for the holiday and to make the kids' gifts. Now, I'm just waiting to rinse my hair (I got some highlighting dye and this is the first chance I've gotten to do it). So, I'm chowing down on cookies that were sent by a realllllly good friend. And they're absolutely yummy!

Gifts made for this year: Finn's http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3134036398/, Princess' http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3137733728/ and Little Man's http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3137734070/.

I am a bit upset at Xman this evening. What was a fine day otherwise, he had to ruin it with his snark. I had worked the overnight shift from Tuesday into Wednesday morning. Came home, got only about three hours of sleep. Needless to say, I was exhausted last night and slept all Christmas morning (which is probably some of the reason I'm awake now). I got a text saying that I must be too busy to wish the kids Merry Christmas. So, for the following hours, I tried to get a hold of him to no avail. I couldn't understand why he would give me shit and then torture me by ignoring me all day. This makes me nervous for tonight as they don't have day care today. He has yet to answer my two requests to where I am to pick them up.

Poor Finn got the pissy text from me. I was so ready to throw something or hit something. Instead, I text (I'm afraid to hit anything as I believe I fractured something in my hand last time I did just that). A few minutes after doing so, I felt bad and apologized. He told me that I can vent to him anytime. That meant so much to me.

Please tell me to stop eating cookies.

Anyway.

Time to rinse out my hair and go to bed. My brain is about mush. It's been an emotional day. This weekend should prove to lift my spirits at least.

I Don't Get It

Why do pharmaceutical companies think that making a product that counteracts what it's for so effectively that it puts you to sleep is OK?

I have vertigo. The meds for it is meclizine which is Dramamine. I take the dose I'm supposed to and next thing I know, it's two hours later! I mean, what happened to being able to function?! I wanted something to stop the dizzy feelings, not knock me the heck out!

I can be at work and doze off standing up. I fall asleep eating dinner.

I'm starting to think I have a sleeping disorder!

No amount of caffeine fixes this. I've tried. It does make me a cheap date, though...one drink/beer and I'm already buzzed!

Makes concentration next to impossible. All I can think of is sleeping. Where, when. It totally bites. Especially during this time of year...my busiest. Even without the orders, I'm super busy with making gifts. On the plus side, gifts have been pared down to less than half this year. Just the kids, my mom and a couple of friends. That's it.

So, while I type this babble nonsense, I'm thinking about how I can get away with sleeping another hour....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz