A Year

A year is both a long time and a short time.

A year ago, September, my ex kicked me out of the house. That seems like a really long time ago.

A year ago tonight, I first met Finn for a beer at the local bar. That doesn't seem so long ago.

My babies are 6 and 4. There are times when it feels like I was just pregnant with them.

A year is the time frame that I have given myself for moving out of Mom's and getting my own place. And this seems like forever.

Looking back on the past year gives me hope for the future years to come. I am finding myself a little more every day. Realized a few things about myself about the type of partner I'd like to one day have in my life, and won't settle for anything less (not that there are any prospects lined up...). Am realizing how I want to live my life and the things that I want to do.

I'm in a place right now where I have good friends surrounding me. I have reconnected with old acquaintances who are turning out to be really good people. I'm meeting new people. And the people that I don't want in my life, I've basically just stopped contact with them. I'm shedding ideas that one has to have many things. Getting rid of a lot of my past, while looking ahead to the future, both mentally and materially.

So, a lot has happened in the past 12 months. And a lot is going to happen in the next 12. I have goals. I have uncertainties. But its time to get my life on track, and maybe if that happens, other aspects of my life will fall into place...

Stalker

I had a stalker once. Scared the shit out of me when I found out about it. I thought I was careful. But he got to me anyway. But he's in jail for a few more years...

Ow I think I have another. Confirmed by moi the other night.

It's my ex.

I was wondering why he was following me and not going home when I dropped off the kids. I pulled into the liquor store and he roared by.

So he tells me today that I need to be giving him money and not spending it at the liquor store. Funny. I got reimbursed for my ppurchase at the store. Gotta love assumptions and conclusions.

And there's been other tidbits that he or someone is watching me and Finn. He's been told when I spend the night in town. He found out when I got pulled over for having a light out.

And I know he cyber-stalks me. He will say things to me that I've only mentioned online. He'll tell me he heard it from a "friend". Funny, most everyone I talk to onlinr can't stand him, so its no one I know.

I don't appreciate being watched and having tabs kept on me. Restraining orders aren't all that difficult to obtain. Just sayin.

Merry Everything

That should cover it. Solstice, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc....

So, I had a nice, quiet Christmas day with Finn. I had made dinner last night, we had leftovers this morning and then he made breakfast for dinner tonight. I then came home to see my mom and her boyfriend for the holiday and to make the kids' gifts. Now, I'm just waiting to rinse my hair (I got some highlighting dye and this is the first chance I've gotten to do it). So, I'm chowing down on cookies that were sent by a realllllly good friend. And they're absolutely yummy!

Gifts made for this year: Finn's http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3134036398/, Princess' http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3137733728/ and Little Man's http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/3137734070/.

I am a bit upset at Xman this evening. What was a fine day otherwise, he had to ruin it with his snark. I had worked the overnight shift from Tuesday into Wednesday morning. Came home, got only about three hours of sleep. Needless to say, I was exhausted last night and slept all Christmas morning (which is probably some of the reason I'm awake now). I got a text saying that I must be too busy to wish the kids Merry Christmas. So, for the following hours, I tried to get a hold of him to no avail. I couldn't understand why he would give me shit and then torture me by ignoring me all day. This makes me nervous for tonight as they don't have day care today. He has yet to answer my two requests to where I am to pick them up.

Poor Finn got the pissy text from me. I was so ready to throw something or hit something. Instead, I text (I'm afraid to hit anything as I believe I fractured something in my hand last time I did just that). A few minutes after doing so, I felt bad and apologized. He told me that I can vent to him anytime. That meant so much to me.

Please tell me to stop eating cookies.

Anyway.

Time to rinse out my hair and go to bed. My brain is about mush. It's been an emotional day. This weekend should prove to lift my spirits at least.