I received more papers along the road of my divorce. They pretty much trashed me. Even pondered my being bi-polar.
Funny thing? I think Xman may be as well.
Earlier this week, he was being nice to me. We were actually talking; discussing things; joking around. I don't know what I did now, but he has done a complete 180.
Our son is sick. I text at every opportunity I can to find out how he's doing. Its like trying to pull teeth getting the information from him. And then, its a problem if I only ask once a day how he's doing. I guess that he doesn't understand that Little Man and Princess are constantly on my mind. I guess I need to text him even when I'm not able to. I guess I need to risk losing my job to constantly text every time I think of my babies.
Fine. If he wants me to text, I will. There are even times I wake in the middle of the night and think of my babies. Even when they're not ill. Guess I'll text him then as well. I hope he's ready for the influx of texts that he's about to get.
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
And.....
...it stopped snowing again.
...the roads are fine.
...I miss my babies.
...I really want some company.
...I should just take some sleeping pills and go to bed.
...the roads are fine.
...I miss my babies.
...I really want some company.
...I should just take some sleeping pills and go to bed.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
This, That and Everything Else
I feel like I've neglected my poor blog. I nurtured this diary everyday, several times a day for so long. Then, my life fell apart, and now I have neglected my brain's dumping ground.
Poor brain.
Poor blog.
Things are picking up in my neck of the woods. I've got a job. Which, let me tell you, is frelling great for my ego. I'm working with people who think I'm 9 to 10 years younger than I really am. I want to hug them all. And, it's not because I feel old or even am all that old (almost 34), it's just that it feels good to have people think you're younger.
I haven't been running in a few days. I've been walking, though. I think I have shin splints. The muscles on the front of my calves have been very sore. So, I've been taking it easy and just power walking. My shins seem to think that doable. So, I'm up to walking eight miles a day when I can get out. It's difficult when I'm working during the day and get out at 4. When that happens, I'm usually leaving work to go get the kids. So, on those days, I'm not able to get out and walk. Yesterday, I was witness to some really beautiful fog over the river since the air temp was only about 25 degrees F. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/sets/72157608337574515/. I even set the one of the bridge as the desktop on my laptop.
I miss my babies more than ever. The weekends I don't have them are really difficult. I don't see them between Thursday and Tuesday. That's a long time. It's not easy going from being with them 24/7 to barely being with them at all. I'm working toward having my own place soon enough so that I hope I can have them with me more often. Princess doesn't say anything, but I know Little Man doesn't like when I drop him off. He wants me to stay at the house. Says its my house and I should be there. Last Sunday, when I was getting them ready to go back to the house, Little Man started crying and didn't want to go. It just about ripped my heart out.
But, other than that, things are good. I'm still not smoking. In fact, I saw one of my friends the other night. She had two cigarettes while standing in front of me. Didn't even have the slightest bit of craving for one. OK. That's a lie. I did have a fleeting thought of stealing one from her. But, I swear it was only for a second. And then it was gone. I suppose that will always happen. I've been told that the craving never fully goes away. But, I can live with that kind of craving where it only happens for a fleeting moment.
So, I see that the hour grows late. I've been up for a while, just messing around on the computer. Which seems to be my every day. And I wonder why I don't accomplish anything. Today, I'm headed to Goodwill and the beer store. Tomorrow will be shopping for supplies and sewing. I have to finish Princess' costume and hoodies.
Busy. Busy. Busy.
Poor brain.
Poor blog.
Things are picking up in my neck of the woods. I've got a job. Which, let me tell you, is frelling great for my ego. I'm working with people who think I'm 9 to 10 years younger than I really am. I want to hug them all. And, it's not because I feel old or even am all that old (almost 34), it's just that it feels good to have people think you're younger.
I haven't been running in a few days. I've been walking, though. I think I have shin splints. The muscles on the front of my calves have been very sore. So, I've been taking it easy and just power walking. My shins seem to think that doable. So, I'm up to walking eight miles a day when I can get out. It's difficult when I'm working during the day and get out at 4. When that happens, I'm usually leaving work to go get the kids. So, on those days, I'm not able to get out and walk. Yesterday, I was witness to some really beautiful fog over the river since the air temp was only about 25 degrees F. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/sets/72157608337574515/. I even set the one of the bridge as the desktop on my laptop.
I miss my babies more than ever. The weekends I don't have them are really difficult. I don't see them between Thursday and Tuesday. That's a long time. It's not easy going from being with them 24/7 to barely being with them at all. I'm working toward having my own place soon enough so that I hope I can have them with me more often. Princess doesn't say anything, but I know Little Man doesn't like when I drop him off. He wants me to stay at the house. Says its my house and I should be there. Last Sunday, when I was getting them ready to go back to the house, Little Man started crying and didn't want to go. It just about ripped my heart out.
But, other than that, things are good. I'm still not smoking. In fact, I saw one of my friends the other night. She had two cigarettes while standing in front of me. Didn't even have the slightest bit of craving for one. OK. That's a lie. I did have a fleeting thought of stealing one from her. But, I swear it was only for a second. And then it was gone. I suppose that will always happen. I've been told that the craving never fully goes away. But, I can live with that kind of craving where it only happens for a fleeting moment.
So, I see that the hour grows late. I've been up for a while, just messing around on the computer. Which seems to be my every day. And I wonder why I don't accomplish anything. Today, I'm headed to Goodwill and the beer store. Tomorrow will be shopping for supplies and sewing. I have to finish Princess' costume and hoodies.
Busy. Busy. Busy.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Life Can Be So Simple
I took this shot tonight, as my children played at the playground where I was standing as I took this. The Princess asked me to take a picture of the sunbeams because she had never seen them before. I, of course, obliged. Unfortunately, the beams shooting out from the clouds didn't really make it into the picture.
I felt very peaceful as I relaxed on a bench while my babies played with the other little ones who were visiting the park this evening. I watched as they ran around, chasing each other, sliding down the slides, running across the zip line. They had not a care in the world. So innocent, they are.
Kids are wonderful in the sense that they don't care what others look like. They don't care if you have purple polka-dots, they still want to be your friend. I have lucked out with two beautiful children that are so full of love and life. They care so much about each other and about other children. They get along with everyone they meet.
Maybe, if the world could sit and watch children play for a little while, we wouldn't have the mess we do...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
First Weekend Over
So, I dropped my babies off at the house tonight. :( They both zonked out in the car on the way home, so I didn't even get to do anymore than just kiss them goodbye.
Tomorrow, they begin daycare. Before and after school care at the school that Princess goes to. We haven't checked this place out or even met the person who runs it, so tomorrow morning, I will meet Mr. X at the school so I can be there to meet and see this place. It's very important to me to be included in the decision on where our children will be going to daycare. I've been their provider for five years now. It's not going to be easy to just stop. Although, I have already been forced to do that.
Our weekend was wonderful! We got lost going to the store yesterday, but we found our way. I got a new camera (so I don't have to fight for the other one at the house). And we proceeded to the park. They had a great time climbing and sliding and swinging. They made a couple of little friends and had a great time chasing them and playing.
Today was a little more laid back. They wanted to play at the house and watch videos. So, we watched Lilo and Stitch and then Cars. They played and I combined working and playing with them. Finally, the videos were over and we took off for the village for fun on the carousel and looking at scarecrows. We three had so much fun playing arcade games and winning prize tickets. Princess and I played air hockey (yes!) while Little Man watched. We three played Skee Ball and games of chance. And, when it was all over, we turned in our tickets (I gave the kids mine) and then we got our tickets for the carousel.
Little Man was getting tired by this point. He gave me a little trouble about getting on a horse, but all was good. Of course, then he didn't want his picture taken, but I did anyway. Princess had a blast and posed for every picture I wanted to take.
Once off the carousel, we walked outside to look at the scarecrows. I began taking pictures of some neat ones and then Princess wanted to snap pics. I gave her the camera and she took some of the pics of the scarecrows. She's a great little photographer! Little Man told us which ones to take pictures of.
Alas, though, all good things must come to an end. Come five o'clock, we had to start walking back to the car as Mr. X wanted them home by six. They were pretty good about leaving. And so-so about going back to the house. But, it's something we all have to get used to. Unfortunately.
Tomorrow, they begin daycare. Before and after school care at the school that Princess goes to. We haven't checked this place out or even met the person who runs it, so tomorrow morning, I will meet Mr. X at the school so I can be there to meet and see this place. It's very important to me to be included in the decision on where our children will be going to daycare. I've been their provider for five years now. It's not going to be easy to just stop. Although, I have already been forced to do that.
Our weekend was wonderful! We got lost going to the store yesterday, but we found our way. I got a new camera (so I don't have to fight for the other one at the house). And we proceeded to the park. They had a great time climbing and sliding and swinging. They made a couple of little friends and had a great time chasing them and playing.
Today was a little more laid back. They wanted to play at the house and watch videos. So, we watched Lilo and Stitch and then Cars. They played and I combined working and playing with them. Finally, the videos were over and we took off for the village for fun on the carousel and looking at scarecrows. We three had so much fun playing arcade games and winning prize tickets. Princess and I played air hockey (yes!) while Little Man watched. We three played Skee Ball and games of chance. And, when it was all over, we turned in our tickets (I gave the kids mine) and then we got our tickets for the carousel.
Little Man was getting tired by this point. He gave me a little trouble about getting on a horse, but all was good. Of course, then he didn't want his picture taken, but I did anyway. Princess had a blast and posed for every picture I wanted to take.
Once off the carousel, we walked outside to look at the scarecrows. I began taking pictures of some neat ones and then Princess wanted to snap pics. I gave her the camera and she took some of the pics of the scarecrows. She's a great little photographer! Little Man told us which ones to take pictures of.
Alas, though, all good things must come to an end. Come five o'clock, we had to start walking back to the car as Mr. X wanted them home by six. They were pretty good about leaving. And so-so about going back to the house. But, it's something we all have to get used to. Unfortunately.
Friday, September 19, 2008
First Weekend
Yay! My babies are sleeping in the other room right now. They're with me for the weekend. I'm so excited!
Tomorrow, I plan on going to Walmart. Misplaced some interfacing (I have a sinking feeling it got thrown away by accident), so I need to get more. Then, I'm taking my chitlins over to the park for the afternoon.
Sunday, I am taking them to a local outdoor shopping village. They have an indoor play area with an antique carousel and other games. They enjoy it there. Then, we'll walk around the village. During this time of year, they have a scarecrow contest. People create scarecrows of varying themes and the scarecrows are then placed on display throughout the village. Sometimes, there's a live band playing in the courtyard. That's fun because if there's any little ones, they run around and dance on the grass. So, you see why I need the camera?
So, we've got a pretty busy weekend planned. Next weekend is the show in Virginia. So, while the babies sleep, I'll be getting halters ready to sew.
Never a dull moment!
Have a great weekend!
Tomorrow, I plan on going to Walmart. Misplaced some interfacing (I have a sinking feeling it got thrown away by accident), so I need to get more. Then, I'm taking my chitlins over to the park for the afternoon.
Sunday, I am taking them to a local outdoor shopping village. They have an indoor play area with an antique carousel and other games. They enjoy it there. Then, we'll walk around the village. During this time of year, they have a scarecrow contest. People create scarecrows of varying themes and the scarecrows are then placed on display throughout the village. Sometimes, there's a live band playing in the courtyard. That's fun because if there's any little ones, they run around and dance on the grass. So, you see why I need the camera?
So, we've got a pretty busy weekend planned. Next weekend is the show in Virginia. So, while the babies sleep, I'll be getting halters ready to sew.
Never a dull moment!
Have a great weekend!
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