This, That and Everything Else

I feel like I've neglected my poor blog. I nurtured this diary everyday, several times a day for so long. Then, my life fell apart, and now I have neglected my brain's dumping ground.

Poor brain.

Poor blog.

Things are picking up in my neck of the woods. I've got a job. Which, let me tell you, is frelling great for my ego. I'm working with people who think I'm 9 to 10 years younger than I really am. I want to hug them all. And, it's not because I feel old or even am all that old (almost 34), it's just that it feels good to have people think you're younger.

I haven't been running in a few days. I've been walking, though. I think I have shin splints. The muscles on the front of my calves have been very sore. So, I've been taking it easy and just power walking. My shins seem to think that doable. So, I'm up to walking eight miles a day when I can get out. It's difficult when I'm working during the day and get out at 4. When that happens, I'm usually leaving work to go get the kids. So, on those days, I'm not able to get out and walk. Yesterday, I was witness to some really beautiful fog over the river since the air temp was only about 25 degrees F. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cynfulfishy/sets/72157608337574515/. I even set the one of the bridge as the desktop on my laptop.

I miss my babies more than ever. The weekends I don't have them are really difficult. I don't see them between Thursday and Tuesday. That's a long time. It's not easy going from being with them 24/7 to barely being with them at all. I'm working toward having my own place soon enough so that I hope I can have them with me more often. Princess doesn't say anything, but I know Little Man doesn't like when I drop him off. He wants me to stay at the house. Says its my house and I should be there. Last Sunday, when I was getting them ready to go back to the house, Little Man started crying and didn't want to go. It just about ripped my heart out.

But, other than that, things are good. I'm still not smoking. In fact, I saw one of my friends the other night. She had two cigarettes while standing in front of me. Didn't even have the slightest bit of craving for one. OK. That's a lie. I did have a fleeting thought of stealing one from her. But, I swear it was only for a second. And then it was gone. I suppose that will always happen. I've been told that the craving never fully goes away. But, I can live with that kind of craving where it only happens for a fleeting moment.

So, I see that the hour grows late. I've been up for a while, just messing around on the computer. Which seems to be my every day. And I wonder why I don't accomplish anything. Today, I'm headed to Goodwill and the beer store. Tomorrow will be shopping for supplies and sewing. I have to finish Princess' costume and hoodies.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Job Hunting

Here I sit, updating my resume, searching for a job. What fun. I'm bored out of my frelling skull.

I have my resume typed up. I had to redo it because my other one from five years ago has disappeared. It must've gotten up and ran away, knowing that I'd need it once again someday. How rude of it to be that inconsiderate! The nerve!

I called someone regarding an Office Manager position. I need to email this lame resume to him this afternoon. It would be working for a truck parts and repair company. Guess it doesn't hurt to apply. They'll probably laugh in my face when I tell them how much I need to start in order to survive.

I'm also applying for jobs on Monster.com and Manpower (temp agency). Once I get a couple of opinions on my resume, I'll upload to those sights and really start looking in earnest. I hate this.

I have found a nice apartment/town home about 20 minutes from the house. A three bedroom with some items included. There's three levels, including an unfinished basement! Maybe what I can do is either put a partition in the largest bedroom for the kids or put a craft/play room in the basement. I haven't called on it yet, as I would need to come up with two months security for it. Since I don't have that, nor employment to fund it, I'm not worrying a whole lot about that right now.

I'm trying to keep my chin up. It isn't always easy, but I'm doing OK. Staying busy. I've been slowly listing the halters that didn't sell at the show over the weekend. I need to remember to grab my pattern for hoodies from the house to start making things for the colder months. I also need to purchase material for the kids' Halloween costumes. Which, I will be going trick or treating with them. Mr. X and I will just have to get along for a night.

Sorry

I have been so busy with opening shop. I have neglected my brain dump! Oh the humanity!

Anyway.

So far, no sales. But, it's only been two days. However, I have gotten a request for a custom sized halter (which will be worked up today) and I got a phone call for a big alteration job locally. I guess when it rains, it pours. The alterations would need to be completed by next Wednesday. It's a formal gown, flower girl dress and two pants hems. By next Wednesday.

And, how has the husband been with the shop? Heh. Well, let's just say he's not happy. He's afraid that I'll forget everything else and just focus on my business. Funny, dinner is made, house is straightened up, laundry is getting done, kids are fed, Princess is off to school on time. Yeah, seems as though I'm going to forget all about real life. As a matter of fact, right now (well, after blogging), I'm going to do the grocery shopping and make up next week's dinner menu.

I think life will continue without a hitch.

What I need him to do though, is stop checking up on me. Last night, he went through my favorites and hearts and asked me who the people were any why I had them on the list. I feel as though I need to wear diapers. I am a grown woman. I've made mistakes in the past, yes, but this is a new me. Besides, I know how to hide things better now (um, just kidding). But, I need him to trust me. He has admitted to not trusting me even though he says he loves me. I just don't understand how you can love someone you can't trust. When I point that out, he gets flustered and makes up some lame excuse saying that he does trust me.

I'm still not feeling very warm and fuzzy about us. And opening this shop has made the feeling almost cold and harsh. Maybe it'll change. Maybe it won't. I don't know that I'm waiting around to find out...

Good Day

Today, I feel peaceful. It's a gorgeous, sunny day. The birds are chirping. I'm surrounded by good friends. Kids are behaving (well, so far). We all went to Friendly's last night for ice cream and I got to have a vanilla Coke (Coke with a squirt of vanilla syrup in it). Soooooo yummy!

I am working on the 51st day of not smoking. http://www.flickr.com/photos/28592236@N04/2824417639/
I can't believe that I don't even think about it much anymore. Really, the only thing I think about is the fact that I haven't cheated once. Not once! And for that, I am proud.

Hubby is coming home early today so we can go together to the Princess' walk through at school. And tomorrow morning, he's going in late to see her off to school. Before I left for the weekend, he wasn't going to take the time for this. I go away and suddenly, it's a priority that he's there. I'm glad that he finally decided to go, but I'm upset that it took my going away to make him decide.

He also got me flowers. A token to say that he's happy I'm home. He has bought me flowers exactly four times now. For my 18th birthday, our 5th wedding anniversary (this year), Mother's Day (this year) and now these. In over 15 years, that's it. I know, it's just flowers, but my father-in-law has bought me more flowers than my husband has. It's just the symbolism of them. And it makes me sad of this fact. He knows how much I love fresh flowers and, yet, I don't receive them. I know...whine, whine, whine...want some cheese with that?

It's coming up on 11:30 here. I have done my nails and gotten the kids dressed. Hubby will be home at 2. I need to shower and brush every one's hair before he gets here. I also have to see what's on the menu for tonight and pull what I need out of the freezer. Plus, I promised a short story to someone that I'm working on. Blogging. Drying tears. Posting on forums. Watching NickToons (Spongebob should be on soon). And now, I just realized that I have a meeting for the MOMs club tomorrow morning. And, I'd like to work on some inventory for the shop.

Excuse me while I run around, pulling my hair out and screaming.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!