Mid-November and its 70 degrees outside. Un-friggin-believable!
My babies are here this weekend. We're outside, enjoying the weather. Princess is playing chalk and Little Man is playing with his Play-Doh. Actually, they're also hunting for acorns.
Yesterday was rainy and chilly. We watched movies all day. They took turns picking which movie to watch and then I picked what to watch at bedtime last night. Dinner, bath, ice cream and a movie. What a perfect night. =)
I've dug out a comfy chair. Set it up in the driveway as the kids play. Its days like this I wish would last forever.....
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Whatthefuckever
I hate this weather. Why couldn't it have snowed the 10 inches that they promised? There's barely enough snow out there to even shovel. I gave up seeing my kids for this. So what happens? I make plans with Finn. Well, he says the roads are shit by him - 5 miles away. Whatthefuckever.
When I woke up this morning, I expected to see a couple inches of snow. There was a dusting. I put a load of laundry in, laid down and vegged in front of the TV and waited for the washer to be done. It stopped snowing in the meantime. Half hour later, I put the clothes in the dryer. Still not snowing. I go back to bed. Woken up an hour later by a friend texting me. Still not snowing.
Where's this huge storm they predicted?
Then, to top it off, I get a text from Xman apologizing and saying guess I could've taken the kids considering the storm didn't pan out as expected. Yeah. Way to make a mom feel that much better.
So, I make plans for dinner and a movie at the house with Finn. He gets out of work, drives home to change and texts me to tell me that he's not going back out because he basically skated all the way home. I'm confused. Over here, the roads are fine. I had just gotten home not 45 minutes prior to his text. I was driving speed limit on the roads I was driving on. I feel like telling him that if he didn't want to come over tonight, he could've just told me. So I call him. And he tells me that the only person I have to blame for not seeing the kids is me. Because I had agreed to it.
And you know what would've happened if I had them? We would've gotten those 10 inches and I wouldn't have been able to drive them home Sunday morning. So, I think my gripe with the weather is properly routed.
And I just wasted the money on buying something to eat since there wasn't a whole lot in the house to have been able to even throw something together. Money I didn't have this week because my hours have been cut so drastically.
I was really looking forward to the company tonight. And I'm actually really upset. Of course, I told Finn I'd be fine. He feels bad enough for not coming over, he doesn't need to worry about me. So I told him I'd be fine. Of course. I always am. Tomorrow, when I see him at work, I'll have my smile on and everything will be peachy keen. As always. Because I am not allowed to be upset.
FINE = Fucked up Insecure Neurotic Emotional
Whatthefuckever.
When I woke up this morning, I expected to see a couple inches of snow. There was a dusting. I put a load of laundry in, laid down and vegged in front of the TV and waited for the washer to be done. It stopped snowing in the meantime. Half hour later, I put the clothes in the dryer. Still not snowing. I go back to bed. Woken up an hour later by a friend texting me. Still not snowing.
Where's this huge storm they predicted?
Then, to top it off, I get a text from Xman apologizing and saying guess I could've taken the kids considering the storm didn't pan out as expected. Yeah. Way to make a mom feel that much better.
So, I make plans for dinner and a movie at the house with Finn. He gets out of work, drives home to change and texts me to tell me that he's not going back out because he basically skated all the way home. I'm confused. Over here, the roads are fine. I had just gotten home not 45 minutes prior to his text. I was driving speed limit on the roads I was driving on. I feel like telling him that if he didn't want to come over tonight, he could've just told me. So I call him. And he tells me that the only person I have to blame for not seeing the kids is me. Because I had agreed to it.
And you know what would've happened if I had them? We would've gotten those 10 inches and I wouldn't have been able to drive them home Sunday morning. So, I think my gripe with the weather is properly routed.
And I just wasted the money on buying something to eat since there wasn't a whole lot in the house to have been able to even throw something together. Money I didn't have this week because my hours have been cut so drastically.
I was really looking forward to the company tonight. And I'm actually really upset. Of course, I told Finn I'd be fine. He feels bad enough for not coming over, he doesn't need to worry about me. So I told him I'd be fine. Of course. I always am. Tomorrow, when I see him at work, I'll have my smile on and everything will be peachy keen. As always. Because I am not allowed to be upset.
FINE = Fucked up Insecure Neurotic Emotional
Whatthefuckever.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
2008 in Review
*sigh*
What a year. What a crazy friggin year.
It started normal enough last January. Birthdays came and went. The first few months of the year sailed by. Then came April.
April is when my marriage started to unravel. Well, actually, it was before that, but that's when things took a turn for the much worse. We tried counseling. I tried to find the love I had had for him previously. It just wasn't there. I couldn't find it. September brought everything crashing down. He kicked me out. It was over.
In the meantime, I really started to find myself again. Who I was 16 years ago, only older and wiser. Well, older anyway. But, my creativity came back. But fun came back. My zest for life came back. I'm still shedding the cocoon, but its going away. And I'm really enjoying becoming a butterfly.
October brought a new job. November brought new friends. November brought Finn.
Now, as Christmas has come and gone, quietly slipping by not unlike any other day, I sit and reflect upon the changes. My kids have noticed that mommy's happier. I've noticed that I'm happier. Even at work, people have noticed a change from when I first started. My friends online have noticed the change. And some are so happy to be there to watch it. And you know what? I'm glad that they're there as well.
So, let's raise a glass to 2009. Here's to a new year! CHEERS!
What a year. What a crazy friggin year.
It started normal enough last January. Birthdays came and went. The first few months of the year sailed by. Then came April.
April is when my marriage started to unravel. Well, actually, it was before that, but that's when things took a turn for the much worse. We tried counseling. I tried to find the love I had had for him previously. It just wasn't there. I couldn't find it. September brought everything crashing down. He kicked me out. It was over.
In the meantime, I really started to find myself again. Who I was 16 years ago, only older and wiser. Well, older anyway. But, my creativity came back. But fun came back. My zest for life came back. I'm still shedding the cocoon, but its going away. And I'm really enjoying becoming a butterfly.
October brought a new job. November brought new friends. November brought Finn.
Now, as Christmas has come and gone, quietly slipping by not unlike any other day, I sit and reflect upon the changes. My kids have noticed that mommy's happier. I've noticed that I'm happier. Even at work, people have noticed a change from when I first started. My friends online have noticed the change. And some are so happy to be there to watch it. And you know what? I'm glad that they're there as well.
So, let's raise a glass to 2009. Here's to a new year! CHEERS!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Cookies!
Well, the potty training experiment failed miserably yesterday. Two accidents within an hour. And he didn't care. We then went to get my hair cut and to pick up supplies to bake cookies, so I threw a diaper on him. We'll try again today. :) 
We made cookies yesterday and this morning. So many friggin cookies. I promised some to work, some to Finn, plenty to go home with the kids and some to stay here for Mom. There are dozens of cookies everywhere. I have three bags full, a plate full for here and two plates for work.
Don't ask me why I baked so much. I just got started and couldn't stop. There's chocolate chip, chocolate with milk chocolate/white chocolate chips, sugar with colored nonpareils, and mini M&M's. And each of them is delicious in their own way.
Got the kiddos dressed. Means I get to do a load of laundry now. I also have a sewing project to get to. Tonight, I stop at Home Depot and pick up wire to make Finn's gift. I tried yesterday with some scrap wire I had (made my own rings). Came out really cool! On the top is a Celtic star and on the bottom is a Byzantine chain. The star I'm making for Finn will be bigger. Definitely. Those rings I made last night were tiny.
UPDATE: Within 10 minutes of placing big-boy undies on Little Man, he peed. Didn't even realize it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Freaking Out
I willingly volunteered my time at work tomorrow to receive two extra hours. I then accepted an invitation to finish watching a movie after I drop the kids off tomorrow night.
What was I thinking?
I have a cape to finish and a hoodie to finish. I'm hoping that this weekend will yield finished results so the hoodie will be mailed next Monday.
I also have two holiday gifts to make. One for Finn and one for the Elf. I need to order gifts for the kids. Wait, who am I kidding, I need to shop for them first! At least Mom is taken care of thanks to a trade with the Elf.
Why do I do this to myself? Every year, I go through the same thing. I mean, due to personal and financial circumstances, I had to put off the cape and hoodie until the last minute. But the gifts? I could've started those earlier. Oh, wait, who am I kidding? I just got the supplies for one a week ago and I just figured out today for the other.
Right now, I'm waiting for sleep to overtake my body. I'm tired, but I'm just not tired. Although, if I gave my brain a chance, I could probably sleep. I need to sleep. It's one o'clock in the morning. I need to get up in five hours for work. At least I was smart and packed a change of clothes already and laid out my uniform for work. So even if I get up at seven, I won't be too late!
*bangs head against the wall*
What was I thinking?
I have a cape to finish and a hoodie to finish. I'm hoping that this weekend will yield finished results so the hoodie will be mailed next Monday.
I also have two holiday gifts to make. One for Finn and one for the Elf. I need to order gifts for the kids. Wait, who am I kidding, I need to shop for them first! At least Mom is taken care of thanks to a trade with the Elf.
Why do I do this to myself? Every year, I go through the same thing. I mean, due to personal and financial circumstances, I had to put off the cape and hoodie until the last minute. But the gifts? I could've started those earlier. Oh, wait, who am I kidding? I just got the supplies for one a week ago and I just figured out today for the other.
Right now, I'm waiting for sleep to overtake my body. I'm tired, but I'm just not tired. Although, if I gave my brain a chance, I could probably sleep. I need to sleep. It's one o'clock in the morning. I need to get up in five hours for work. At least I was smart and packed a change of clothes already and laid out my uniform for work. So even if I get up at seven, I won't be too late!
*bangs head against the wall*
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Waiting
Things are going well right now. I've met a wonderful new friend. I'm picking up all kinds of hours at work. Mom and I have struck an agreement with my living situation (rent makes things so much better). Kids are feeling better and are doing wonderful. And there's this strange feeling I have....
I'm happy.
When is this going to implode?
I swear. I'm not allowed to feel this happy. Something is going to happen. Something is lurking around the corner and waiting to kill my happiness.
Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I feel I deserve this happiness?
Dammit. One day at a time. I deserve this.
I'm happy.
When is this going to implode?
I swear. I'm not allowed to feel this happy. Something is going to happen. Something is lurking around the corner and waiting to kill my happiness.
Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I feel I deserve this happiness?
Dammit. One day at a time. I deserve this.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Decisions
It's so hard to make a decision that involves your children.
I am faced with the dilemma today of visiting with them tonight or letting them go home with Xman to rest. The Princess has been very sick this week. I had to take her to the doctor on Monday. Little Man was sick the week before. I am now getting whatever it is that they've had.
Question is, though, do I pick them up and take them out to McDonald's tonight? Do they really need to be running around on the playground?
I have nothing else going on. If I don't pick them up, I'm coming home from work and having a date with my book and bed. Maybe, possibly, quite later, hanging at a friend's for the final installment of Lord of the Rings. But I would do that regardless of whether I have the kids or not.
My mind says that I should just let them go to Xman's house for rest and that I'll see them next week when we're all better. My heart is telling me that I need to see them. Because I miss them horribly. But, then my mind tells my heart that I'm being selfish. That they need rest to get better.
This really sucks.
I am faced with the dilemma today of visiting with them tonight or letting them go home with Xman to rest. The Princess has been very sick this week. I had to take her to the doctor on Monday. Little Man was sick the week before. I am now getting whatever it is that they've had.
Question is, though, do I pick them up and take them out to McDonald's tonight? Do they really need to be running around on the playground?
I have nothing else going on. If I don't pick them up, I'm coming home from work and having a date with my book and bed. Maybe, possibly, quite later, hanging at a friend's for the final installment of Lord of the Rings. But I would do that regardless of whether I have the kids or not.
My mind says that I should just let them go to Xman's house for rest and that I'll see them next week when we're all better. My heart is telling me that I need to see them. Because I miss them horribly. But, then my mind tells my heart that I'm being selfish. That they need rest to get better.
This really sucks.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Slow Day
Well, I just finished my grocery shopping online. Yippee! Pick that up around 2 pm. How I love someone else doing my grocery shopping. I hate trying to organize shopping with two little ones in tow. There's always something that they absolutely need (which they don't, but they think they do). And when I tell them "no", they will proceed to act as though they are being murdered. I don't give in and if they keep it up, I leave the store. That's right. I will leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle and leave. My kids don't scare me. I scare them.
Next thing to do is laundry. Well, that's ongoing throughout the day. I hate that worse than shopping. At least groceries are only once a week. Laundry is everyday for a family of four. Ugh.
Next is to call our therapist. I'm going to make an appointment for me, alone, and one for the both of us. I think I've made my decision. He said some things last night and this morning that told me nothing will ever change. Ever. I will never be the person I deserve to be hanging around here.
So, for now, I will keep up this double life that I feel forced to lead until I figure out the details of how to proceed from here.
Next thing to do is laundry. Well, that's ongoing throughout the day. I hate that worse than shopping. At least groceries are only once a week. Laundry is everyday for a family of four. Ugh.
Next is to call our therapist. I'm going to make an appointment for me, alone, and one for the both of us. I think I've made my decision. He said some things last night and this morning that told me nothing will ever change. Ever. I will never be the person I deserve to be hanging around here.
So, for now, I will keep up this double life that I feel forced to lead until I figure out the details of how to proceed from here.
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