Just Say It All Ready!

I wish I could. I don't understand why I can't. I know I want to. But something is holding me back. Could it be fear? Maybe that's all...I'm afraid of the fallout from saying something and appearing too needy? I don't think that's the word I'm looking for.

Even though I believe that what I want to say would be reciprocated, I'm still scared. I don't understand why, though. I'm trying to live life as it comes with little fear, but still.

ARGH!!!!!!!

I just wish that the next time I was asked "what?", I could answer truthfully, knowing that my answer would be reciprocated. Instead of just saying "nothing".

It's Over

Have you had that moment when you just knew it wasn't going to work anymore? That it wasn't worth trying anymore?

I felt it this morning.

I was willing to speak to the therapist to find out how I may work through what I've been feeling. What I've been thinking.

We had some words last night. He accused me of some stuff. Saying good bye to him this morning, I felt nothing. And, all I felt was sadness from him. He didn't even tell me he loved me. Usually, he can't leave the house without saying that.

It's over.

I feel sad because he has been a part of my life for so long. I'm scared because I don't know what life holds. I'm excited because I don't know what life holds.

Raise a glass and wish me luck!