Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Fighting again. What a way to begin the day.

This time,we're fighting about my going to Greenwich Village with a male friend to listen to some middle Eastern music and watch some belly dancing. He feels that my friend has intentions of stealing me away from him. That he trusts me but not my friend. To me, it sounds as though he wants me to stay home and do nothing.

I understand how hurt he's been before and why he has trust issues. But he doesn't seem to understand my need to go out on my own. To have my own friends.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm sure that more than one of my male friends has thought about sleeping with me. He'll, I've thought about it with them. It's a healthy thing. But, being that I'm with someone, I wouldn't act upon that and I know that they wouldn't either.

I feel that he doesn't trust me at all. That he doesn't trust me to say no should things become inappropriate. He says that I can do what I like, but that he's frustrated that I want to do things without him.

I can't have this again. I feel myself slipping because I don't wantto create waves. And I'm fighting with myself not to allow it to happen again.

I feel so alone and so fed up with it all...

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