Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Own Worst Enemy

Supposed to be happy, right? I have a wonderful man who gives me everything I want and need.

Why do I feel like something's missing?

I haven't sewn in months. I miss it. I don't really hang out with anyone. I miss it. I miss being with people. I miss so much.

But I put a smile on my face and face each day showing the world that I'm happy because I'm supposed to be right?

Then why am I here at home, alone, watching the best movie I've seen in years, crying and wondering why I'm here at all?

Got sick again. Missed quite a bit of days at my crappy job. Can't seem to get ahead of this flare and it's really getting me down. No one deserves to have to see me like this. I don't deserve to feel like this my kids don't deserve a mother in my condition. My boyfriend and his boys don't deserve to watch this. My family doesn't deserve to watch this. My friends don't deserve it.

Why do I keep going?

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