Freedom

My divorce was final on April 22, 2009. I am officially a divorced woman.

What does this mean? I'm already in a relationship, so I'm not a free woman. Or am I?

Since being asked to move out and meeting my boyfriend, my creativity has soared to heights I haven't seen in a long time. I'm free to be my own person. Actually, I am encouraged to be my own person. I'm creating jewelry again. I'm sewing again. I'm laughing again.

Yes, the tears are still there. My anxiety creeps up on me and overwhelms me at times. And I sink into a slight depression, but I'm not there for very long. The episodes used to last so much longer. I'm in a really good place emotionally right now.

Its still an uphill battle. It gets easier as the days go on. As I find myself little by little each day.

I was speaking with a really old friend of mine (from first grade) last night. I mentioned that I'm in a really good place emotionally right now. And I am. He thought that was great. He remembered me being really fun to be around. I think I'm there again. The free thinking of childhood. Yes, I have responsibilities now, bills, kids, etc., but I'm free to think and act upon those thoughts.

I'm really enjoying that freedom and the man who likes me for the woman that I am.

Finding Yourself

I think that I'm finally finding myself. I've been living under a rock for too many years. Well, not literally...

Ever feel like that? I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I'm starting to see the light. My mind is awash with ideas and designs. I need about two bolts of muslin. That might not even be enough to create everything I have in mind.

I just have to convince Hubby that I need to do this. I need to create. I need the outlet. And I need to do it my way (cue Frank Sinatra).

Somehow, though, I have a feeling that he won't be so supportive of my way. I don't know why. I just don't. But, I can't worry about that anymore.

It's my time.

It's my turn.

It's my way.