Monday, September 30, 2013

Fitting In

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending an event at an art park. Our house set up a tent in which armory was shown off. A lot of kids attended (with their parents, of course) and had a blast trying on helms and chest plates and gauntlets. It was really enjoyable to watch their little faces as they looked at stuff. Parents were taking their pictures with the armor on and with a sword to make them look really cool.

One thing I noticed about the day was how everyone interacted. It didn't matter if you were pink, purple, black, white, whatever...we were there to share the craft that we do. There was glass bead making (which I want to learn), calligraphers, weavers, fighting, someone showing the different swords and armor a rapier used. And then I found something else out....

I felt like I belonged.

We went out for dinner after (about 20ish people). Usually, I don't talk when I don't know people. I stay to myself and let others talk unless I'm spoken to directly. It's something I do because of my anxiety and maybe to protect myself as most of the people in my life are no longer there, so maybe it has something to do with not wanting to get close to people. But last night was different. Last night I spoke. Last night I laughed. And I did these things with people I didn't know (there were six people I knew out of the whole bunch). I felt comfortable. I felt like one of them. And I gotta tell ya, it felt good. I had stirrings inside of me that I hadn't had since I was a teenager and living in NH.

I also realized I have the most awesome man on this Earth.

I thanked him for a fun filled day. Then, as we were drifting off to sleep, I thanked him again, this time for letting me back into his life. He told me I never left. I told him I don't think I ever did either. I am so very lucky to have him that I try to take advantage of every moment we have together. Because I know everything could be taken away with just one moment.

I feel very lucky to have found my home.

My home where I'm accepted for who I am.

My home where the second half of my heart is.

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad you are finding your place in life Cyndi, HUGZ