Whatthefuckever

I hate this weather. Why couldn't it have snowed the 10 inches that they promised? There's barely enough snow out there to even shovel. I gave up seeing my kids for this. So what happens? I make plans with Finn. Well, he says the roads are shit by him - 5 miles away. Whatthefuckever.

When I woke up this morning, I expected to see a couple inches of snow. There was a dusting. I put a load of laundry in, laid down and vegged in front of the TV and waited for the washer to be done. It stopped snowing in the meantime. Half hour later, I put the clothes in the dryer. Still not snowing. I go back to bed. Woken up an hour later by a friend texting me. Still not snowing.

Where's this huge storm they predicted?

Then, to top it off, I get a text from Xman apologizing and saying guess I could've taken the kids considering the storm didn't pan out as expected. Yeah. Way to make a mom feel that much better.

So, I make plans for dinner and a movie at the house with Finn. He gets out of work, drives home to change and texts me to tell me that he's not going back out because he basically skated all the way home. I'm confused. Over here, the roads are fine. I had just gotten home not 45 minutes prior to his text. I was driving speed limit on the roads I was driving on. I feel like telling him that if he didn't want to come over tonight, he could've just told me. So I call him. And he tells me that the only person I have to blame for not seeing the kids is me. Because I had agreed to it.

And you know what would've happened if I had them? We would've gotten those 10 inches and I wouldn't have been able to drive them home Sunday morning. So, I think my gripe with the weather is properly routed.

And I just wasted the money on buying something to eat since there wasn't a whole lot in the house to have been able to even throw something together. Money I didn't have this week because my hours have been cut so drastically.

I was really looking forward to the company tonight. And I'm actually really upset. Of course, I told Finn I'd be fine. He feels bad enough for not coming over, he doesn't need to worry about me. So I told him I'd be fine. Of course. I always am. Tomorrow, when I see him at work, I'll have my smile on and everything will be peachy keen. As always. Because I am not allowed to be upset.

FINE = Fucked up Insecure Neurotic Emotional

Whatthefuckever.

New Friends

I ended up hanging with a new friend for Thanksgiving. Well, actually, we went out the night before (got a pretty healthy buzz going), I had to work Thanksgiving morning and then he came over for turkey. He helped me fix dinner - wouldn't let me say no if I tried. In fact, I did try, but he just wouldn't sit and stay still. He even contributed a dish to the meal!

I sliced the middle finger on my left hand pretty good while cutting the yams. Finn followed me down the hall to the bathroom where I had immediately stuck my hand under cold running water. He then went back to the kitchen and promptly grabbed a paper towel. After evaluating the cut and determining that it was not quite bad enough for a trip to the ER, he had me wrap my finger with the towel and told me to put constant pressure on it and hold it above my head. He then walked with me back to the kitchen where he told me to sit for 15 minutes while he continued to prepare the yams (he had already sliced the potatoes). He would not let me move for the entire 15 minutes and kept checking my finger for blood loss.

He took care of me! :D

Oh, and the finger is sore, but fine. No stitches were needed. Just a band-aid to keep the cut closed; without the bandage, it keeps getting pulled open.

Yes, we have been spending quite a bit of time together. Hence the reason I am no longer on line much anymore. Hence the lack of posting to my diary. But, I'm happy. He makes me happy. He challenges me. And I like that.

What else do I like? The fact that when we're at work together, I will look over at him and catch him looking at me. And rather than shy away, he'll catch my gaze back and smile. If he's in a different department, he'll make a point to come where I am and say good bye when his shift is over.

We share a lot of interests, but have enough that we're different. But, he's artistic and creative and interesting. I find myself intrigued by him. He tells me a lot, but there's so many layers to him that I've only begun to scratch the surface.

He concerns himself with my needs and feelings. I'm not used to this. We go out. In public. Every week. And yet, we can have just as much fun just staying in and watching a DVD. We make each other laugh.

I didn't expect this. I didn't start my job looking to start to care about someone. I expected to meet people, maybe hang out. But finding one person in particular? And so soon? Never thought it would happen. But, I'm not questioning it. I'm taking each day as it happens.

And if each of those days can be happy, well, all the better. :P