UGH.

Not to whine, but....OK, just a little whining to get this off my chest.

I HATE BEING SICK.

I have a combination of a minor flare and a head cold. I knew the sinus thing was coming. Yesterday, while at work, I was really dizzy and my head felt fuzzy inside. The flare, I could feel too as I felt crampy and that I wanted to throw up.

So, although I just started my job, I had to call out today. I don't need to be cutting meat while trying to choke down the puke and dripping snot.

So, today, I'm having a private pity me party. I'm cursing my body for failing me, once again. Why does my body hate itself so much? I just don't understand. And then, a sinus headache and sore throat on top of the bloatedness and pain? What the hell have I done wrong?

I know. I know. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, right? But, why does life have to bring us to the brink and then slowly draw us back?

Bleh. I'm going back to bed.

Uh oh....

I think another flare is beginning to rear its ugly head. And I'm none-too-happy about it.

For a few days now, my belly has been feeling swollen and yukky. Can't imagine why. I don't have any stress in my life. Everything is perfect.

Then, why do I have this pain?

I'm going to try the "If-you-ignore-it-it-will-go-away" approach. I really don't have the money or time for this right now. I know, not the best approach. But, they can't do anything right now for it. It's still early in the flare. What will they do? Throw pills at me and hope that does the trick? I'm not in the mood to have to down a hundred pills.

Right now, I'm just taking some Zantac for the heartburn (that's really bad this time). One pill is cool and that's not even everyday. I'm still drinking coffee. But, the food intake is slowly decreasing. I find that on the days I run (running through the pain...probably not the best), I'm hungry and will eat. But, on the days that I don't, I won't eat.

Don't pity me. Don't feel bad. This is the nature of the beast. I knew that this was going to happen. Its about time for my treatment (have to call the nurse tomorrow). My life is upside down right now. But, also, the medicine doesn't work forever. Its a temporary fix. Of course, if the Remicade isn't working as well anymore, I have no idea what's next. There's not a whole lot of medication as strong as Remicade out there...

Doctor Update

A recap: Very painful Crohn's flareup right now. Had to go to the doc on Friday afternoon. Here's what happened...

So, he confirmed that yes, indeed, I'm flaring up. Duh. So, he gives me medicine. First one: 500 mg of Pentasa, two pills, twice a day. Second one: three mg of Endocort, three pills, once a day. He then gave me Vicodin for the pain until the other stuff kicks in (so far, not happening). I now have to call the office this week and set up and appointment for my Remicade infusion. And, I have to go get an endoscope next Monday.


What's that? An endoscope? But I thought Crohn's was in the intestines...doesn't an endoscope go through the mouth?


Yes, an endoscope. Yes, my Crohn's is in my ileum. Yes, an endoscope goes down in to the stomach through the mouth.


It turns out that the last time I was hospitalized (December 2006), they performed both a colonscopy and endoscope. During the endoscope, they discovered that I have an ulcer. An ulcer! Can't ever imagine why!? So, the doc wants to go in and see how that ulcer is doing. Of course, he makes it sound so easy. In the meantime, this is what I have to do:


Hubby has to take a day off work. I need someone to take me to the hospital and drive me home after. There also needs to be someone home to watch the kids. Hubby will do that, maybe bring them to the park or something for a couple of hours. I have to starve myself starting midnight the night before. That means no coffee on Monday. NO COFFEE. My appointment isn't until 11:30! Thank goodness they give me good drugs, otherwise, the migraine that is going to ensue from no coffee will kill me. Once I am home, I will be so out of it. It should prove for some funny stuff. Too bad we don't have a video camera. They will also probably do a biopsy. No reason why, they just like to cut tissue while they're in there just in case. I don't have cancer. I think they just like to cut and make it hurt.


So, this is my life right now. Popping pills, laying in bed, feeling bad because I don't have the energy to take my kids down the street to the park. It's enough to make dinner or load the dishwasher. I do my best, but sometimes, it doesn't feel good